caesarean section 19.11.06

having peeled myself off of the velcro that is the hot swedish babes, i made a run for it jumping onto a moving ferry. once it docked, i jumped ship and landed in Helsingor, denmark. so i get there and start missioning for a hostel. i land up walking like tom hanks in a liquorice factory for about an hour, i get to the frikkin hostel which was honestly in the sticks and the cherry behind the desk choons me, 'sorry buddy but we're allbooked up' so i swear like an ally thats been dropped into a ring of maraudin iraqi insurgents, forget about the city, hopped on a train andlanded on a large manure heap called Arhus.

its a student town and was described as a 'small city that has everything you need.'i didnt need anything there, i just wanted to get out.and after 2 days ejected my own a*s outta there.but first i had to endure a hostel that was packed with bosnians running a food trade from my room. it wasnt cool-i was scared, really scared. i passed as little time in the room which involved seeing the same city streets over and over again. the city was dank and grey, with a peehole of a city centre, and a dainty little canal. i couldnt wait to get my scrawny a*s outta there.

i screamed running for copenhagen,or koobenhavn,like indiana jones runnning from that big rolling rock. ahh ahh,
if youre into irish pubs, f*ck dublin, go to copenhagen. i watched man united get the false teeth beaten outta them by celtic surrounded by scotsmen, it wasn't pleasant i tell you.its a city of squares and boulevards,of ports and statues. its modern architecture makes front covers of the glossy mags, and even the city hosted the mtv music awards. i visited the docklands. watched bulldozers make reinforcing steel bars look like spaghetti, making way for stainless steel and glass tower blocks, got my sneakers dirty and got denied entry to MVRDV's seed silo apartment block, a modern edifice, again. scuffed my shoes on the dump that is Christiania, now a shadow of its former drug induced self. it rained buckets and i cursed. i travelled for minutes to see zaha hadids Ordrupgaard extension. its an art gallery, moulded in black and set in a forest. it rained and i photographed it till i smelled like a wet puppy dawg. i was told not to take photos inside,i did.copenhagens landscape is pocked with wind farms,its the future now.went to see an art exhibition by robert raushenberg, man alive this dude is shyte hot. he's 79 pushing octagenarian status but i loved his youthful scratching. got my eyes involved in the history museum and dug it like a kid sucking on jelly sherbert. the vikings were a rancid bunch-they loved gold, jewels, and some seriously ornate weaponry. argh argh. i drank reasonably cheap booze and met a theologian who took up a challenge not to drink for a year. that night we met, there was 100 litres of free booze being channeled through the digestive systems of most kids there, bar this oke.
and finally it was time for me to cross the Oresund bridge. to make it from copenhagen to malmo and not get wet. so i jumped a train, and after 20 minutes i was in sweden. i thought itd be like appollo 13´s adventure to space but it turned out like dehydrated ice cream with julio iglesiais´ son singing background tracks.
im not too sure that this was a cool city\country or not. i figured it´s a pretty homogenous european city, although it´s scandinavian. so sorry copenhagen, but this here action figurine aint gonna use you as his hideout lair.
please note:no animals were killed in the making of this email,although some were badly injured and might never walk again