Sunday, October 22, 2006

i am a rock n roll fan 14.09.06

Richie and I headed to Milton Keynes for what could be the gayest story of my life. It could leave me excommunicated, harangued and left guttered in a stew of old frot tomatoes, spinach and diced pumpkin.
The 14th September was ignited by former take that minnow Robbie Williams and me, richie and about 64 000 women shrieked like lunatics (well me and richie didn't).
We called the proverbial sickie on Thursday and rocked up in milton keyes having ridden Virgin style from Euston station. I ordered a super veggie subway, hoping to munch it in the grassy bowl that is the Milton Keynes concert venue., but nooo, that fat bouncer made me shove all 12 inches down my gullet. The grub was sprawled all over me like a two year old being force fed mashed carrot.
We slid our way down the side of the grassy bowl and into the golden circle we were. We felt like heroes. The golden circle at Milton Keynes resembles the wee pool of milk where the last few super absorbent soggy cornflakes at the bottom of your cereal bowl settle. Those flakes are difficult to get to, but boy they have the sickest lil view. The stage sits so close, I felt like a rock star. The well oiled, well connected curved yellow meccano-set-from-the-80's that was the stage huddled over us, the support bands and the mighty Robert Williams. Personally I was a lego maniac.
Orson, certainly weren't that, they got a coupla decent radio lyrics, but hey, I probably wouldn't buy the album, pirate their cd, copy the tape, stick them on my pod or even let them pay backing tracks to z-grade horror flicks.
Robby rolled onto stage amidst flames and kabooms and every sort of pyro mania shyte you could think of. I couldn't stop chuckling to myself knowing that I was in and amongst once Take-That fans. The show was like a massive bubble chewy gum. as the wrapper was unravelled the candy sweetness of it left my teeth rotten to the gum. It was so poppy the massive bubble that the experience blew, burst and we were covered in the sticky gooey sugary strawberry flavourness of it all. It was so bubble gum and candy floss that I no longer have a sweet tooth.
Robbie puts on a show, a show biz show. this is predictable, rehearsed, its true West-End. What its doing attracting gazilions of frenzied bra-waving chickita's to huge football stadiums I simply do not know, but he does it. We were swimming in a sea of oestrogen, a pool of drool. This is what Robbie does to girls. But what I do know is this dude is pure entertainment, pure gimmick. He's f*ckin good in anybody's lingo.
after the gig the masses drained outta the milton keynes bowl, and hopped onto packed trains, packed African style. It was carazy night and one i wont tell my grand kids about.
farewell my far flung friendsthe russian bear hunter, master swordsman and clubber of baby seals....oops did i say that allowed?

This message will self destruct in 5…4…3…2….1……KABOOM,

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