Rise of a Beigel 27.07.10

ah what a day, after waking up sweating like like an olive in a desert,i got myself up early, and made a bolt for the Metropolitan museum of Art. the museum sits on two floors, and i have no idea how many square meters it consumes, but its like a wee megalopolis. anyhow it sounds rather strange but i get kicks out of antiquities, well primarily the greek and roman stuff,afterall i was a latin scholar. here too i rubbed shoulders with the kandinsky's,the cezannes, the monets, the mantes, the van goghs. the list is as big as a new york deli side order menu. huge.

after walkng this place for hours and by the end of it needing the walls to hold me up, it was time to get some suunshiine and a beigel.yea thats what i said, a beigel. Matt Ai suggested that for my first beigel experience it has to be Beigel Stix on 53rd and 8th. i entered under the glowing red neon sign, rolled up to the intimidating counter, pulled out my wee book in which matt had scribbled exactly what to order-lox nova, thin cream and an 'everything' beigel, and i just sat breathing up against the counter glass ,drooling like a puppy dawg. i grabbed the beigel in its bag, and made headways across town. while strolling, my body shaking, pulsing, at the excitement, like an archeologist unearthing the origins of man. i unbag the beigel, unwrap its tinfoil outter shell and peel back the wax paper, as it is revealed to me, it bursts in to colourful life before my very eyes.the seeded bun like a rocky desert terrain, the 15 layers of salmon, glowing pink, soft, tender, the massive red tomato slice, all sitting tightly between two thin layers of the creamiest cream cheese my taste buds had ever surfed. i took a bite, the cheese shmearing its self all over me, the salmon as tender as a fresh bruise, the bun fresh and warm.in my hands the beigel was simply uncontrollable, but i took the upper hand.and wow it was good.

so im scoffing this thing down, loving it like the first season of Friends, and as im crossing town i pass by the MoMo gallery, its like 7pm and theres music bursting outta its seams. i see a girl standing by, looking all summery and i ask her while my mouth is full o beigel, how the hell do i get in there. she choons me its invitation only but if i want she'll squeeze me in somehow. so i tell her not to worry, i gottta finish this bite of heaven,the beigel that is and ill sort myself out (getting into the gallery that is). she says just act confident and youll be in like princess leiah with han solo.anyways in my sneaekrs, shorts and tee i roll up to the counter.the lady at the desk tells me its invite only, so i tell her im the kinda guy that gets invites to these kinda events. i tell her im famous. she asks my name, i choon her the russian bear hunter. there and then she googles me.she shows me a pic of some guy thats just elephant-shot a bear.i say yeah thats me.she's like 'OMG'. her friend aint buying it so they call the manager.i tell her i blog, and she's like, 'wow,you blog?', im like 'whatever', she checks the blog, the manager checks 'my' bear hunter pic.he says 'no'. but the sweet girl behind the desk gently slides over a ticket when no ones looking, shebam im rolling with the big cheeses of New YArk city.

free drinks and im happy as the ending of a hollywood romcom.

a corker of a day in Noo Yaaark Citee