back in september when i could still wear a tshirt every day, i went to see this exhibition on sustainable design in bricklane. bricklane is like little india in britain,great curries and super styling vintage clothing stores, and apparently it has the highest concentration of rats too.so folks be afraid of that curry, be very afraid.it also has as a whole bunch of exhibition spaces.the sustainable exhibit was pretty quirky i might say.there was a chair made out of many blocks of timber,like the game jenga,and a chair made out of a bath and a chair made out of someones mom's favourite crockery.it was a mellow exhibition, not getting too outta hand like most exhibitions tend too.one could get outta hand hammering the free booze and shnacks that are often on offer.having gripped a pint we then watched some seriously uber babes in this open air fashion show, a sick lil eve indeed.
i returned to bricklane that weekend keen on some serious second hand store shopping when all of a sudden my blinger inbox received a message.it was from a friend of mine,kay,we'll call her special k for the purposes of the email. anyhoo she asked if anyone wanted her bicycle,and i duly responded that id take it off her hands. so now perched in my room sits a flaming red cycle ready to carve up the streets of london, its ready to be ridden easy-rider style, its ready to get me groceries,its ready for me to pick up sugars, its ready -it just needs a human being to ride it.
you know what ive learnt about living on my own, its that when you throw something on the floor in your room, it actually stays there.
im trying to get my last action hero-ass to spain,barcelona.the wee problem is i booked the ticket,now it clearly states on the visa rules:'do not purchase the ticket afore ye go', so i thought, gsus im bullet proof, why wouldnt i get a visa,and so it came to pass that theyve rejected my request....... twice.
so im off to see the milennium dome with gello,2 weekends ago,(i actually feel sorry for the people i drag on my expeditions). so we're searching for the dome, we can see it we just cant get to it.eventually i ask this wee little blonde belter where o where we can get access to the dome, and she's like, 'the dome?, and she points to it, 'there it is', and im like 'no, we wana go to the dome' and shes like, 'why would you wana do that?', so i say so i can touch it, caress it, ive travelled the world to see it. so she says, 'well you wasted you money'.thanks love
a couple of weekends ago dave and richie met me in picadilly eager for some serious action. i was under a bit o pressure cos i had chooned these lads all these crazy storys about me, the last action hero.so we set off like a crazed bunch of banshees in a noodle bar to seek a party.we found ourselves at a place called alphabet which i had researched on the net.what a dump.they sold us rancid mexican beer, played shyte beats and called themselves a lounge.anyhoo we blew that rice paddy so fast and moseyed on to macdonalds.next stop we said whatever it is we'll just go in and have a cupla.so me and richie enetr this place,dave was held back by the bouncer while he shlurped his coca cola with M-shaped ice cubes.i thought it a wee strange when all i could see were oaks..gsus we hopped on our trusty steeds so fast and never looked back.
sunday saw me have a massive hang over, something i was yet to experience. we had planned to go to greenwich the night before, so it came 14.30, sunday, the sun was ablazing and kev told me they were in greenwich, so i thought damn a day like this cannot be wasted. as shyte as i felt and although it felt like i had a dead rat rotting in my mouth, i got up and bolted for greenwich which is like an hour away.to get to greenwich one hops on the super tube and shoots the northernline till Bank,then its a sweet ride on the DLR.the dlr is this uber cool train,glazed on all sides, driverless,and has plush chairs.it rides high above the city, and circumvents canary wharf-a slick utopian city developed by business men,and it looks it.its another class of travel, you should try it-at a stretch you coulf feel like buck rogers in battle star galactica. anyhoo i met the lads at starbcuks at around 5, whatched them shlurp their shlurpys, did an about turn and headed back....so much for wasting a day.
a crazy series of events evolved over the morning of the 13th.it was yom kippur, a fast day.i needed to make my way to south hampstead synagogue.that was done either via super tube or bus.as i motioned to the tube i saw that it had been gated up, honestly i swore like a starship trooper and wandered what the f*ck the lord thougth of me now.however there was a replacement bus, so to the bus stop i did go.i waited for a while and then an uber cute uber babe came to wait with me,she asked if the bus was going to finchley road,and i responded ai.so we got talking,and i found out she came from scotland and she has a lad in souf africa.anyhoo we boarded the bus and she chuckled at me cos i always say 'sweet' and 'dig'.meanwhile im thinking ,'the heavens are opening for me to repent for my sins and im busy scoring chocloate chip cookie points with miss scotland runner up to miss venezuela of 2004.anyhoo we alight the bus and i walk her to the tube station,she then(this part kills me) hugs me, yeah thats what i said, hugs the chaito man and requests my cell phone digits.i dunno man,
this most recent weekend saw me trying to achieve the goal of the previous weekend.to see the thames river barrier and park.i returned to docklands.here i got to see a building,the cascades. its a residentila block, block of masonry, chiseled, faceted, revealed and sitting on the banks of the thames.having skecthced and photographed it, i made my lone ranger way back onto the DLR in search of the elusive thames barrier. now this place was more than a stones throw away,. en route i passed the london city airport,a sick little aoirport indeed. its crazy the sorta transport network that throbs its way through london.so i get to this area called north woolwiich, but its a wee late for me to get there cos i could see the barriers,but that didnt mean i could get there before dark. i see this ferry,its free, its large its crossing the great thames and it desreves to be ridden by the chaitoman,so i figured f*ck it, lemme hop the ferry get to the otherside,do an about turn michael jackson-style and return to london town. i mount the ferry like the lone ranger would Silver, and it starts to roll.i happened to be standing next to danny,his names daniel,but he preffers danny.he points out the evo 8 mitsubishi on the ferry and says, 'that evo 8, its a porsche killer, its a masreti killer, its a ferrari killer.'now you gotta picture this dude, he's proper ganstar style, decked out in bling,dressed in way-too big jeans, like when youre a kid and you couldnt hold it in, and what youre left with is a wee lille brown package, white sneakers and a west end massive top.i wanted to say, 'its too big for you dawg.'but he probably woulda popped a cap in my scrawny ass, so i shut the f*ck up. anyhoo i agreed with him and asked if he watched 'top gear, a sick lil motor show. i chooned him they showed the Evo 8 killin a ferrari, and he was like 'yeah yeah, i saw it mate.'anyhoo he told me he knows people who kill peolpe,and im thinkin,hmm cool.he mentioned he'd been to the cape flats and knew the stukkie brothers.we got on discussing how 50cent is an absolute joke,and most people really do die after getting shot like 9times.
i did get to see the thames river barrier which is a series of stainless steel clad sorta armadillo shapped pods, being closed.the closing happens once a year and me gello and richie samir saw it man,we saw it. the adjacent park by the way.is gloroius,the kids would do well not getting grass burns
ah folks this email absolutely exhausted me.im happy to get it outta of here, and i only hope you enjoy it.hang tufthe chaito man,the action figurine that evey kid wants to own
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