i had to buy myself a gift-a new pair of siick high top converse chuck taylors, theyre prison jumpsuit blue with double stitching crossing the length of these nasty kickers, theyll make you say wawaweewa when you see them. they have no flash, no gel, no waffle. theyre just ordinary.. i knew when december kicked off i'd be a cruise-ader (no relation to darth v-ader)
the yodel of a december holiday, is the creamed custard on my warm apple pie.
the mozzie bite on my psyche had been itching me the whole damn year, i scratched it till it bled, and if december hadnt come when it did, id have bled out.we were a trio-a hairy me, an hairier bones, and saulie. we were headed for a journey, i dont wanna call it a rode trip, that just aint carbon neutral, but we slashed the eastern cape in a fire bomb german engineered tri star, notching up 3600 carbon fueled kays. we were guided by a GPS. that frikkkin gps story blows my melon all shades of red. the world can see us, it knows where we're going, it knows i needed to pee a mega litre, to dispatch it in some one-stop, it now knows that i know that it knows.
we alighted the vehicle in a weee dashing lil town called Cintsa, i sniffed the air and i knew antarctica was closer to becoming a wave pool.Cintsa is a spitoons throw from east london-a town which should have undergone the romans scorched earth policy.
there we drank hectic style, drank cheap grotty box wine cos it was free, played beach volley ball on the grass until our feet bled, well not me cos well i just watch ball sports. then we hit the bar,and id just sit and watch sh*t unfold.anyways we swam in the sea, dug our feet in the sawft sand, we cycled to a wee Xhosa village and watched lil kids jump in beaded skirts. totally african experience i tell you. they asked for pennies, but there was no jingle jangle in my shorts pocket. we met tanned germans and over grown hollanders. we beat the sh*t outta cape tonians at table tennis.cintsa you havent heard that last of me. pow pow
it was time to dust the crust off our underpants and so made a 1 prong attack on a lil horror show of a town called Kei mouth. its the kinda town that'd make a great backdrop for a b-grade horror flik. couldnt wait to get outta there.
it was time to dust the crust off our underpants and so made a 1 prong attack on a lil horror show of a town called Kei mouth. its the kinda town that'd make a great backdrop for a b-grade horror flik. couldnt wait to get outta there.
the hike began. kei mouth, double mouth, haga haga, morgans bay, ganubie. we placed our green lil houses on this monopoly board. we got sand in our underpants, sun on our arms, we smelled like a mine workers pits, we wore only 2 tshirts,we ate noodles, we baked beans,we decanned tuna and 2 minute oats, we dipped ouma-all she wanted to do was play kalookee, we swam again, every day in the sea and in the lagoons.we used a teeny toilet ,like those portaloos at rock fests.never go into one of those bogs with just your socks on.we cooked on a wee gas cooker,drank sugarless coffee outta stainless steel mugs,bear grylls wouldnt have approved. we looked at rocks and shells, birds and whales, we were forced to cross a river and lo and behold we fell and wet bacame us. i lost my camera and one sock, it was sad,the sock drifted into the sea,never to be seen again.i miss you sock.my camera drowned and any amount of blowing,left it limp, pictureless,flashless.rust over came it.you served me well fuji man.
at Ganubie we stopped walking when we got to our hotel, they threw in a free breakfast.i drank all the sacheted sugar.Bones ate poached eggs, but at addo elephant park we werent gonna poach animals,maybe bbq. we zooted there in 3 hours.we saw big bellowing muddy elephants,we saw roarring hungry man eating lions,we saw black backed jackals, wandering tortoises, a buffalo carcass and heaps of dung. we made fire,danced around the boerwors,sacrificed onions wrapped in tin foil. we read books and dried our underpants in the baking sun.
when we had chewed the fat of our last piece of biltong,we rolled into the boutique town of plettenberry bay (thats how swedes would pronounce it).
ah how i love this svelte lil outcrop.here we bbqed,and we beached the beach and saw great whites jumping, frollicking in the sea,we saw life gaurds shouting and people running,we saw drama,it was a steven spielberg dream. we drank and clubbed, not seals but bars,only one bar,and chillaxed to the max. we tossed the frisbee, i never tossed the cookie, i listen to my ipod,the sound track to 'into the wild' like a 1000 times,i read a book, 'around africa on my bicycle',now i wanna go be free, although you gotta wear the correct shorts otherwise youll chafe.believe me , i know. i walk like a cowboy after every run i do.ive always wanted to ride a horse, but not like this.
we fished, i caught a crab,rather it caught me,then it just dropped off the line and said cherry bye,we ate sweaty Steers chips and drank coke zero from an avatar can, what a shyte drink, rather run to lose weight i say.
i ran in hakerville, in the forest, ah it was bliss, i ran real fast, it ended in a bott of blue sweet powerade, gushing down my food gullet, cascading past my unnshaved chin, making blue my innards, like a sci fi movie.it was awesome.
it was new years it was debauchery,but full of shyte music,dance music for the masses,4am rolled by and Paddle Sticks wants to play golf.it was a corker way to start the year.
now holidays, summer days are dwindling. the days are shorter and the nighs alonger.
ah how i love this svelte lil outcrop.here we bbqed,and we beached the beach and saw great whites jumping, frollicking in the sea,we saw life gaurds shouting and people running,we saw drama,it was a steven spielberg dream. we drank and clubbed, not seals but bars,only one bar,and chillaxed to the max. we tossed the frisbee, i never tossed the cookie, i listen to my ipod,the sound track to 'into the wild' like a 1000 times,i read a book, 'around africa on my bicycle',now i wanna go be free, although you gotta wear the correct shorts otherwise youll chafe.believe me , i know. i walk like a cowboy after every run i do.ive always wanted to ride a horse, but not like this.
we fished, i caught a crab,rather it caught me,then it just dropped off the line and said cherry bye,we ate sweaty Steers chips and drank coke zero from an avatar can, what a shyte drink, rather run to lose weight i say.i ran in hakerville, in the forest, ah it was bliss, i ran real fast, it ended in a bott of blue sweet powerade, gushing down my food gullet, cascading past my unnshaved chin, making blue my innards, like a sci fi movie.it was awesome.
it was new years it was debauchery,but full of shyte music,dance music for the masses,4am rolled by and Paddle Sticks wants to play golf.it was a corker way to start the year.
now holidays, summer days are dwindling. the days are shorter and the nighs alonger.
hope you all had a good one.
be cool stay cool and like apple pie, stay well baked
cahito (like a mohito, but tastes better)
