4 years ago i
uttered these words over my mom's oven baked chicken, gently steamed peas and rice and while watching a snippet of the Farnborough Airshow. and so it came to pass that i made a melon-sized opening in my diary and circled the date of the 22nd of July with a big fat khoki pen for this carazy event.a great airshow requires a massive landing strip, display space, cheap dry and sh*tty noodles,some eager beaver airplane fanatics-eugene, chaito, geller, the seligmans and flying machinery that makes your bmw 325i function like a commodore 64. the planes on display were the greatest that any army has to offer and we got to breathe the fumes of their wrath.
lurking at the far end of the runway alongside the portaloos and probably th
e highlight of the breezy day was the new Airbus A380. its an absolute behemoth. as it stares you down, you shiver like a quiver. it's bulbous head, and beady eyes, and its stubby body would see it playing the starring role in an Alien movie. its arched wings are rather beautiful. she's chunky as hell. try staring her down, this bad girl aint the playground bully, but she'll lift all 550 of you and dump you across the ocean.the 5 people deep crowd munching on sweaty pies, oggling the sling-shot take-off speeds, smelling the oily air reeking of high oc
tane jet fuel, and hearing the roaring grunt of jet engines, stared non-believing at the noodle-like A340, the longest commercial beast to puncture the skies. it is as nimble as jack and her antics will leave you frothing at the mouth. she pulled moves out of her top drawer leaving us stappled to the tarmac with dry mouths,and deadlegs. the euro fighter, named the typhoon, is a piece of european engineering built to scare the sheeite outta any iraqi.we saw jump harriers-the pride of the royal airforce-it's full of hot air,
but it'll blow any insurgent out of their toyota diesel pick-up. we saw mother russia's MiGs-they're as nimble as a toy aeroplane in the hands of a 3 year old and as pure as the vodka the commies drink. we saw apache attack hellicopters-she is american and yet she is not, she is slim, she is stealth. the swedish grippen, protects south africas skies, from whom i cannot say. she tore the sky into absolute shredded tuna yawing, rolling and pitching her way through the air space of farnborough. the bomber of today aint the big tin can you kicked around the school play yard in days gone yonder. they're known as bones. the B1-B bomber is as s
leek as a bone,it's tar black and it'll tear the skinoff your skull while doing mach 2. 'chew on that,fat boy.'it was an absolute ripper of a day that i've pencilled into 'chaito's top 10 excursions of all time.'
i went to see with elli from finland the Serpentine pavillion by rem koolhaas. each year someone out there chooses a famous architect that hasn't built shyte in the UK to put up a temporary pavillion. this year it was the dutchman rem kolhaas who was drawn out of the lu
cky packet. honestly dude, th
at big bulbous piece of inflatable cow turd is a stain on the rolling fox hunting hills of hyde park. may a hungry furry fox come and chew the polycarbonate walls of your pavillion and may sesame street's yellow big bird pierce that swollen dr bean that is the roof.hope you enjoyed another adventure from our intrepid russian bear hunter.stay cool my friendssweetly, the dan, russian bear hunter, master swordsman and soon to be the action figurine all the kids wanna own.
